Grandma got run over by a squirrel
Walking down the trail Midsummer’s Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Rocky
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
She’d been drinkin’ too much Michelob
And we’d begged her not to go
But hiking was her avocation
So she stumbled out & fell off the patio
When they found her the next mornin’
At the scene of the attack
There were nut shells on her forehead
And incriminatin’ paws marks on her back
Grandma got run over by a squirrel
Walking down the trail Midsummer’s Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Rocky
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
Now were all so proud of Grandpa
He’s been takin’ this so well
See him in there watchin’ football
Drinkin’ beer and playin’ cards with hiker Belle
It’s not the trail without Grandma
All the hikers’ dressed in black
And we just can’t help but wonder
Should we get her maildrops or send them back?
Grandma got run over by a squirrel
Walking down the trail Midsummer’s Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Rocky
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
Now the resupply’s on the table
And the backpack gapes open big
With a camo-wrapped handle
That would just have matched the one in Grandma’s rig
I’ve warned all the passing hikers
Better watch out for your GORP
They should always mind the forest
For squirrels who race up to help themselves
Grandma got run over by a squirrel
Walking down the trail Midsummer’s Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Rocky
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
TRAILS, TRIALS, AND TRAVAILS 