Post-Trail Notes – November 14

[CAUTION: Fretting ahead.]

Well, I can’t say I wasn’t warned about post-trail depression. I’m definitely feeling it now. Started looking for a job again today, sending out resumes, but my heart’s just not in it. But I’ve been back for two weeks and “getting tired of staring at the same four walls”. Or however many walls there are in the apartment, if this keeps up, I may end up going out to count them!

The weather is getting colder (imagine that!) and definitely curtailing my walking outside, though I have a pretty decent fitness room nearby. I just need to USE it. I understand that with fires burning in NC, that part of the trail is pretty hot right now, so I may have lucked out.

I need to refocus my attention on my goals. Being on the trail was rough, but the goals were always so clearcut. Walk this many miles a day to get to this point; walk so many miles this week to get to this town; Katahdin. Then, southwards. Back in my other life, I have goals, too, but they are not so clearcut, and they are a lot harder to define, let alone reach, when it’s not a simple matter of putting one foot after the other all day.

• Finding a job – can I go back into the same position/field, do I really want to, should I try something else… well, the money has to come in from somewhere, and I may not have time to try something new. Not yet. I’m thinking about temp agencies – at least I can generate some income will I figure things out.
• Writing the book – stalled on this, because I’m frustrated with Microsoft Word formatting, and haven’t yet managed to kick myself into ignoring it and just write. The words just won’t come when you’re fretting over two spaces after each period, double-spacing, how do I weave this into that. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be worrying about that at this stage. But I do.
• Caught a cold already. No, this was not one of my goals. But I missed the City Council meeting I was going to attend, I’ll have to catch the next one in December.
• Should have stayed on trail until the election stuff dies down. Facebook is like a little vacuum, it sucks you in… I know, that is also something I could have had the willpower to avoid.

Sorry, people. Chalk it up to post-trail depression. I’m still grateful for hot showers and flush toilets and ice cream in the freezer, don’t get me wrong. And seeing old friends and NOT HAVING TO PACK UP A WET TENT!

I DO live on. I just have to remind myself of that!